There Was No Other Choice
by AshGurl2897
Summary: Set in 1x06 - as Amy clings to Ben in the family planning clinic, she thinks about Ben and their memories together. I felt it was necessary to clarify her side, as I've justified Ben's but now feel like Amy is deeper than many give her credit for as well.


"_Ben, I'm so sorry I yelled at you," she sobbed, crashing into his open arms._

"_It's okay. You can yell at me for the rest of my life," he replied. _

It was the first time he'd neglected to tell her he loved her. She was so used to those words floating off his lips on a regular basis, that it almost scared her not to hear them. Had she pushed him away? Enveloped, safe in his arms, it was hard to believe that that was the case. The hug felt real. It felt right, and it felt so organic that she wasn't even sure where her body stopped and his started, anymore.

It was good to have Ben on her side, and she hated the times when she snapped at him or pushed him away, because she hated to see him hurt. But, she was pregnant, how much chance did they really have? As she clung to him and sobbed, she thought of all the moments they had together in the short but meaningful time they had been together.

She thought about the moment at the dance when he'd touched her hand and pulled it close to his with his pinky. She thought about how much stronger she felt when he laced his fingers through hers. She'd looked up and smiled. She remembered feeling safe in his arms on the dance floor that night. She had cried because she wanted to love him, but she didn't think she could, given her circumstances. She cried because she thought he would never stay with her once he knew.

She remembered the time she'd told her friends that she and Ben were officially a couple, and the first time he'd told her he loved her. She'd been scared to hear him say the words, but amazed at the same time. He loved her? Could this be true after such a little amount of time? What did it mean for their future? Would he support her through all of this? Still she doubted.

When he kissed her, she could have sworn her heart stopped for just a split second. He was so gentle with her, so soft and sweet that she almost couldn't bear it. It hurt to love him – and she feared she would hurt him – but from that moment on, she knew she had to love him. There was no other choice.

She remembered how sad and preoccupied he'd looked that day on the park bench. She had looked over at him and seeing the preoccupation and fear in his eyes, she immediately hurt on his behalf. She'd asked him if he was okay, truly worried that something was wrong, not even considering that he knew about her pregnancy. She was relieved when he said he was okay.

When he proposed, she cried. She hated that she'd lied to him, by not telling him about Ricky or the baby. She hated that the baby was coming between their pure and very real relationship. She hated that she didn't wait for him. Marriage was a big step though and as much as she cared about Ben, how could she get married at fifteen to a guy who was not the baby's actual father? As she held the ring between her fingers, Ben wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to never lose him but she couldn't bring herself to answer. She didn't want to get married, she wanted be free of the situation, to have a clean slate, so that she didn't have to have all the complications between the three of them. If that meant an abortion, she felt she had to.

Now, here in his arms inside the family planning clinic, she realized she couldn't do it. She had become attached to this little life inside her and she couldn't harm it.

She had doubted him, but he had stayed with her throughout all of it. He'd even proposed, which was more than she could have ever asked. Ben was her everything and she loved him. He'd been right about her needing her mother, and he'd been right that she could take care of the baby. She had to. But she also had to have him.

She hadn't wanted to trick him into marrying her like her friends had suggested, but now that Ben was offering of his own free will, how could she say no? She loved him and wanted to raise this baby with him. She knew that he would love her baby as if it was his own, and she knew that he would always love her. Of course she feared the future, but she couldn't hide in fear anymore. She couldn't lock away her emotions. Her secret was out and she had the support of her family and her loving boyfriend.

"_Thank you for everything, Ben,"_ she whispered. She held onto him even tighter as he began to stroke her hair softly with his thumb. He would be there, she would have the baby and they would be happy together.

There was no other choice.


End file.
